Desolate Beauty

Walking through this seemingly desolate wasteland it feels like those moments in life when colors dull, fun fades and life just feels hot and dirty.

Feet hurt, skin burns, blisters form and eyes itch.

In these times I can't help but be reminded that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

But it's more than that…

Beauty is in learning to appreciate clean teeth by feeling the grit and crunch of sand in them now.

Finding shade under monumental sundials and their shadows of time.

Looking for beauty in the details-allowing the small and mundane come to life.

Learning to appreciate our ancestors who traversed these lands on foot…

One dry watering hole after another.

You must open more than your eyes to see it all. There is so much more than rock and dust, sand and soil, and reptilian life.

A cactus shows its life with big red blooms. 

Rock and sandstone stand in surrealistic formations. 

A 360-degree art gallery you must work to see.

These structures, not made by the hands of man, stand majestic for miles.

Penstemon sowed and cared for by the elements shows nature's true glory.

When the sun sets and the beauty grows dark—a whole new scene begins.

A string of thoughts thinking about the future.

Maybe the end isn't in sight because you've already reached it?
The future is a fog because it can't be seen by unopened eyes.
Only when you realize you've finished this part of the journey and take a step will you see your next goal...
It takes guts to move forward into the unseen when you are safe in your suffering.
Faith in He who is greater will bring calm to the confusion.
Will you continue on a clear road to nowhere?
Or grab a hold of faith and race into the mist of what could be?

2012 Teva Mountain Games Gibbon Slackline event

This event was a highlight of mine, and few thousand other people... I can't wait to see what these guys and gals throw down in 2013! Check out the post 'Rarity' I wrote about the athletes and all-around great people you encounter at the Teva Mountain Games.

Rarity

You see them every so often...
The people you yearn to be.
What do they have?
Why are they so rare?
They love what they do; and they do what they love.
It shows...
Demeanor, postures, emotions, expressions. They're just different.
When you talk to these rarities they listen.
Not with an ear towards you and eyes towards everything else.
They listen intently, almost intimidatingly.
And to you! A stranger. A common person...
Why?
Because everyone is born fairly common.
Different situations, yes, but rich become poor and vice versa.
So - Why?
Potential - These people know the potential to be a rarity is inside of you.
Waiting to be let out in a fury of passion.
Your true self, your true passion is calling...
The reason these people are so rare?
Because most people are too scared to answer.

This was inspired by the recent Teva Mountain games where these rare breed of people come together in mass to participate in their passions. Once a year I am able to be a part of it and feel, if only just for a weekend, like one of those rare people I yearn to be...
Check out Brianne Janae Photography and Teva Mountain Games FB page for more photos. 

An Ode To Coffee

From the ground the berry bush grows
until they are ready to make your hand unsteady.
Roasting the beans dark as night or light and bright.

The black awakening makes its way up.
Through vessels, veins, capillaries and arteries.
Rocket fuel for the brain
creating a launchpad for the imagination.
Energy flowing like a black waterfall
crashing into the depths of the mind.
Filling the pool of creativity.

For the night owls and morning glory's.
It's a common ground many share.
Rooted in the earth and a strong scent in the air.
So press another shot, brew another pot.
It's time to go...To ship, to move to create and inspire.

Three Ways of Looking Back...

Remember the times…

What a haunting phrase
The past is the past
Only trouble and sorrow lie ahead
A vast expanse of brokenness
emptiness and sadness in a
wasteland of too few memories 
and too many tasks. 
The desert is seemingly endless.

Remember the times!
The wonderful times
Laughing, loving, living.
Thank you Lord for a life
to remember. Beautiful memories
as plentiful as the wild flowers
that the border sign promises.
Colors, imaginations running
wild as they are meant to be.

Remember the times.

Times and events that can

never be replicated. Amazing times.

That is why we remember them 
so fondly and frequently.

Not to say “The good ‘ol days”

but to know so much is in store

for the future. There’s so much

to look forward to…

Skin & Bones

People come in all varieties

shapes, sizes and colors.
Why should we expect everyone
to act the same? To fit in society’s box.
To take away the unique aspects of each
other is to take away everything.
Skin and bones is what we
have in common and without
our other differences that is all we are.
Skin and Bones.

'Dig' a Hole and Plant a Seed...

The Familiar voice fills my headphones.

Bringing a message to the masses

But I feel like it was crafted for me.

The same feeling I get 

When I enjoy the brew being touted…

“Follow your folly”, says the voice.

The seed is planted.

The soil is good.

And when the seed grows.

That’s when I’ll be alive. 

 

 

 

 

 

*Sigh*

Outside beckons like mother to child. An internal tug of war ensues between responsibility of man-made importance and the call of a calm breeze, green grass and waving branches. Nature’s beckoning once again and it’s only morning…6 more hours to go. 

Come rest your eyes and relax like when you were young! No time…too busy. How fast we move through our short existence only to get to the end and wish we’d have slowed down. How hard we strive to live a life doing what is needed not giving a second thought to the real meaning of life passing us by. 

Memories that should have been, never came to be because of the demands of your industry. So many sacrificing life for so few in hopes for what? Recognition from those that matter least!

What can we learn from a longing gaze? We learn that your place is elsewhere…

Tough times...

It's easy to ask, "Why did this happen?" or worse "Why does this keep happening?".

It's easy to get mad. Blame others, blame God maybe. Whether it's a big tragedy or a ton of little problems that add up and hit you like 12 gauge buckshot often times the easiest thing to do is play the victim and point fingers when maybe what we should be doing is learning about ourselves and looking internally.

Have you ever learned anything about yourself on a perfectly sunny day? For me these days are blue-bird ski days, with no traffic or lift lines - usually found in Aspen-Snowmass (shh, don't tell). Awesome Saturdays with my wife riding bikes around to breweries in Fort Collins, or going home for holidays and not worrying about anything, literally, you can sit on the couch and read, fully focused on turning pages not really caring about anything else.  Nope, I have never learned anything about myself on those days...except maybe that I like them a lot and wish there were more days like that.

The truth is we need tough times, dark times, rough times, to shape us into who we are. Whether it's losing friends, marriage problems, money problems, job issues or just being stuck out in the woods without a compass these things cause us learn what's below the surface of ourselves. Sometimes that makes those tough times even harder to deal with because we don't like what comes out. To be honest, I wouldn't change anything about the worst times in my life because of how much stronger and wiser I am today because of it.

There's this book called The Journey of Desire written by a Christian climber from Boulder, CO that opened my eyes to a new thought. Basically this whole life is shaping us for who we're meant to be in the eternal lives ahead of us. We're these rough blocks of wood being shaped by the gritty sandpaper of the world. Question is are you going to just let yourself get all scratched up, scarred and haggard or are you going to learn from these tough times and be shaped into who you were meant to be - something incredibly unique and beautiful.

Cross Fit was actually fun!

Workout today was awesome. Usually I tear major muscles and it takes a week to recover, or really a week to walk right again leaving one conclusion - cross fit sucks. Or so I thought, this workout may have changed my mind because I feel amazing.


Warm up:
- Run the hill outside 3x
- Walking lunge up the hill once
- Back inside, 5 sit-ups, push ups and air squats
Partner Workout - Fair teams, each team has to have each person do this:
 
- Run to the corner of Cascade and 34 (250 yds one-way) with 30 - 45 lb weight
- Back inside: 3 rounds, 10 hand release push-ups, 10 weighted situps (use same weight db for each team), and 10 jumping air squats.
- Run to the corner of Cascade and 34 again with same weight.
Time is the total team time for all athletes to complete. Our time was 11 min.

Topped it off with a nice helping of squats. 
6 rounds

As many squats as possible in 20 seconds  
Rest for 10 seconds in full squat position
Averaged 13 squats per round 

Of course this was also "fun" as well...

Nothing safer than Vail on a powder day.

Inspiration.

Inspire others and you'll inspire yourself...But I wish inspiration came in a can, or there was a recipe, a quick, easy solution and it tasted like ice cream. I guess that's the society we live in, everything that's worth it should be simple and incredibly rewarding with little or no work, and be really fattening. I'm picturing Dwight Schrute saying, "False, hard work is the only way to good beets." The thing is I love working hard, especially for things I love (or good beets). Why is it so hard to get motivated to do the things I love? (side note: Is it just me that feels like 99% of life is in the gray area and never black and white?) I feel like I've wired myself to generate as many excuses as it takes in order to stifle and kill any motivation I get for getting out and climbing, riding, skiing or just doing things that I know I love doing! I'll watch a bike movie and get to where my helmet is and quickly find myself watching mindless tv. I'll watch ski movies all week and when the weekend comes, "Meh, there's still not enough snow to make the drive worth it." Goodness sakes I live 15 min. from some of the nation's best bouldering, I've been twice this year. I don't get it, so I'm psychologically evaluating myself and writing this in order to maybe find an answer that will get me off this couch back to living the good life God intended us to live.

So how does inspiration spark motivation?
Inspiration: The process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something, esp. to do something
creative: "flashes of inspiration". 
Motivation: The general desire or willingness of someone to do something.

I guess I see inspiration as a flint and steel for the fire of motivation. To continue with the poor metaphor it seems like I can never find the flint or somebody just doused my would-be fire. I think inspiration has to match up with your motivation as well. Seeing an amazing photo of a mountain biker has not worked to get me out riding! It works to get my wife excited about taking photos. But only wrapping your hands around the grips and turning the cranks can actually inspire me to keep doing what I love. 

I can blame youtube, vimeo, twitter, facebook and all the typical time leeches but I think it's more than that. Or maybe not, maybe a good test would be to drop those things for 30 days and see what happens. Yes, that's it! Living in the marketing world I'm all about a/b testing so my A was trying to get out and get motivated using things like the above mentioned social networks. B will be the next 30 days of social network and couch abstinence (ok, maybe not completely off the social because of work, just not at home) I will find my inspiration in pushing further doing the things I love instead of watching people do the things I love.

Day 1 Starts Tomorrow.

Consuming is not the route.

Maybe it's Christmas, maybe it's the fact that I have the wife every man dreams of. "Babe, if you want it, get it!" is something I do hear when perusing backcountry.com's Dynafit selection or wandering around Outpost Sunsport trying to find a reason I need a new jacket. Or she just gets whatever it is for me as a love gift. Skis, road bike, Smith helmet, hoodies, pants, GoPro to mention a few.

So with that said, I've got everything I need to be satisfied for a long time! I've got the tools, if you will, to seek the authenticity found outdoors. But last night I found myself "needing" so many items on Backcountry.com. Garmin Forerunner heart rate monitor plus altimeter, awesome for training and tracking altitude gain (are you kidding me, I've only been to the mountains a handful of times this season) but this is something I need?! A lighter ski setup from my first post (that's ridiculous I haven't even put many miles on my setup right now). New goggles, base layers, there's a great sale on snowboard boots, I might try snowboarding someday...right?

The danger for me is feeling like I'm part of something just because I have the gear to do it, whether it be rock climbing gear, ski stuff, dirt bike or mountain and road bikes, by having these things around me I feel like I'm a part of these sports. I feel like a climber, skier, and a rider... Add to the mix an endless amount of youtube, vimeo and dvd consumption and in my mind I'm a pro! The other problem is my best friends have moved away, specifically Andrew, and he was the one to not only push me and plan awesome trips, but he also taught me everything

So here's the point. In 2012 I'm challenging myself to start "needing" the adventure all these things provide in place of the next product that is going to refresh my faux connection to the adventure itself. No more buying, only planning, doing and living. I even have my own professional photographer so there's really no excuses!

Merry Christmas and an adventurous New Year...

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal." Matthew 6:19-20

True gratification...that's the good stuff.

Photo by Brianne Janae Photography

Tension and anticipation, trailhead emotions that float around as the silent race to be the first ready to start skinning begins. It's the first day of my favorite season. Ski season. One more butterfly in my stomach and I might just fly over the two mile skin track right to the top of our mountain-top destination. Snow is plowed up on the side of the road crunching beneath our skis like nature's bowl of white frosted flakes. Within minutes the softer sounds of unpacked powder in the trees takes the place of cars and excited voices back at the trailhead. By city standards we're silently gliding through the woods, picturing ourselves as a model of swiftness and efficiency. By wildlife standards we're bulldozers plowing up their white winter carpet with the grace of something akin to Niagara Falls. 

It's a funny feeling being away from it all…one would presume a lot of thinking and/or pondering would happen in the silence of the winter woods but in fact it's quite the opposite. Your mind begins to match the blank white color of the ground that tends to be in style this time of year. Soon something starts to fill that space in your mind, something you can't recognize in the busyness of everyday life. It's joy, freedom, authenticity…

It's out here we relearn what these things mean, at the same time realizing how unfree our 40 hr. work week is. Ever seen a stop light at the intersection of two trails on your commute to happiness? I shudder to think.

Contrary to what the media has you believing, true gratification isn't of the instant variety. Although adjectives like quick, fast and easy precede just about everything these days leading people to believe that if something isn't one or all of these it's just not worth it. 

Photo by Brianne Janae Photography

True gratification is preceded by words like time, work, dedication and sacrifice. Not quite as attractive but it's the nature of these words that makes the attached activity so much more fulfilling in the end, embedding it's pain into the recesses of your memory for those times when you think you can't. Accomplishment isn't a verb associated with sitting on the couch watching tv, "Dude, I watched 7 hours of tv yesterday, a new PR!"), no. Accomplishment is associated with being completely shelled and still skinning up for one last lap, one more pitch, finishing in the top 10 when your goal was top 15 because you pushed harder that race...losing a leg and completely destroying your body in a climbing accident only to come back years later to set records on a big wall you might have heard of, Yosemite's El Capitan. 

Photo by Brianne Janae Photography

It's this accomplishment and authenticity that has you planning your next adventure only a couple hours after all you wanted  was to be back at the trailhead with a beer and large amounts of chocolate in hand. You realize it on the way home, whether through the perma-grin on your windburned face, the stories of stoke, the fatigued muscles...true gratification just sunk in and there's just no way you can ever go back to that instant crap again. Even if it does come in strawberry cream flavor. 

You're not cheating anyone but yourself.
Words that ring loudly, clearly and true
Amidst suffering drops of sweat.
You wanted this, nobody's pushing you.
You'll have to do that yourself.
Sure it's type 3 "fun". Like taxes.
We need roads right?
Fitness is our road to authenticity in the forgotten real world. 
Seeking Authenticity in our tech era has become secondary.
To faster internet.
More blogs, statuses and #cleverlittlethings.
Looking at photos of the same pros
Viral videos, youtube and Vimeo.
Outside? Why?
We can enjoy outside from the couch right?
No.
I haven't been enjoying it lately.
Like a novelty or fad
the faux pleasure appears and disappears quickly.
Sticky fun, pleasure that stays with you for years.
Type 1: bouldering, resort skiing, fun in the moment
Type 2: everyone's first marathon (the fun hits you a week after the finish line)
Type 3: This sucks, I hate my life why'd I sign up? (then you register for next year)
I couldn't tell you much about:
the tv show I watched last night
or the blog post I thought was cool
or the magazine I read five times
or the 600 tweets seen everyday
I could tell you in great detail about:
Riding every inch of the 100 mile White Rim trail
leading my first sport climb
the best powder days with good friends
sending a 5.10 for the first time
every mountain bike race I've entered
each unique skin track through beautiful white mountains
Every authentic adventure becomes a part of me and who I am.
Therein lies the importance of Seeking Authenticity.

Training workout

I figured it out...being a rather frugal person (my setup in the post below was a gift from my wonderful wife) the thought of paying $40 for a workout dvd (Spinervals, etc.) was preposterous. Especially since I've always just been able to use Andrew's for free.

Quick fix: Ski movies + cell phone timer set to 30 min countdown for intervals.

Warmup - 5 min.
Interval 1: a little pyramid:
1 min. Big ring x 16
45 sec. Big ring x 14
30 sec. Big ring x 12
45 sec. Big ring x 14
1 min. Big ring x 16
~2 min. rest~
Interval 2: 6 min.
30 seconds on Big ring x 12
30 seconds off
~2 min. rest~
Interval 3: 6 min.
1 min. on Big ring x 13/14
1 min. off

5 min. cooldown

Follow up by crunches, curls and squat thrusters with 25lbs. A good day! Ready to start some two-a-day stuff! 54 days to Teva games! Yikes.

Fill yourself with wonder every day.

“Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize?  So run to win!… So I run with purpose in every step.  I am not just shadowboxing.”  1 Corinthians 9:24, 26

The beginning of the beginning...

The Art of Flight by Brain Farm Cinema (Curt Morgan) has a quote from Travis Rice that has not stopped echoing in my head since the Denver premier. "It's not enough to experience the world through endless second hand information, If you want authenticity you have to initiate it."

First reaction - Sure, you were born in Jackson, with the mountains surrounding you. Even the "down days" in your filming career are spent doing what people dream of! Guns, fire, snowmobiles and beer. Really, does it get much better than that? Plus I've got to hold down a desk chair 40+ hours a week, don't have a "crew" and my best friends have all went separate ways. The most recent (and huge motivator) to work at Keystone.

Second reaction sans stupid excuses - Alright. Let's do this. I want to Seek Authenticity.

So here's the plan:
Tour 3 new areas of Cameron Pass
Tour 3 new areas of RMNP
Ski 30+ days (ugh, I hate I-25)
Finish my 5D short film
Ski something that scares the crap outta me

Feb 11, 2012 Teva Mountain Games SkiMo race
Rec category: 3,000 ft. of vertical: Eagles Nest/Mid-Vail/Golden Peak
Goal: Finish top 15

April 20, 2012 Marmot Grind at A Basin
Race category: Vertical is approximately 4,500 ft
Goal: Finish under 3 hours

My setup is heavy metal: heavy but so fun. 23 lbs!
2010 Atomic Bentchetler's (9 lbs, 4520 g)
Marker Barons (5.6 lbs)
Dalbello Virus FT boots(8.3 lbs)

My ideal setup if I got into racing: About 11 lbs...wow.

Dynafit TLT Vertical ST Alpine Touring Binding (400 g)
Dynafit Mustagh ATA Superlight Ski (5 lb 14.4 oz, (2670g)
Dynafit Titan TF-X Ski Boot (4lb 6oz (2000g)

Time to whoop my butt into shape comin' a yyaaaayyyy haaahhh!

“The Lord says, ‘I will guide you along the best pathway for your life.  I will advise you and watch over you’.” Psalm 32:8